So It Begins

Well, I have been a Mother of 2 for 7 weeks now, Its great being a Mom, I love both my children very much and can't imagine life without them. I am soo much happier since I moved off base and dont have to deal with the constant drama of base life. I guess I was letting what other people said and thought control my happiness... Ohh brb gotta get the clothes off the line before they blow away... :)

Ok i took the clothes off the line, then put more on, and ate a snack pack pudding :P

I have a million things to do and never enough time to do it, and it seems I get the most energy at night, but at night I dont have time to do anything because my husband is home and I wanna spend time with him, but I do prefer him having dayshift...


Honestly I dont have much to say I just had about 3 minutes to spare so I decided I would try to write... I need to find someone who has it all together and see what it is that they are doing so I can get it together, I feel completely disorganized and like nothing gets done... ok break time is over time for more dishes laundry and other cleaning...

Make-Up and Drills

Well, woke up this morning feeling sick still, I have been sick for about 2 weeks now. At 900 on the dot the construction sounds from next door started hammering drilling and such. Went to the living room to try to relax and look at my email and facebook, I sent molly to go clean her room for the 15 min i was gonna do this. She came out 10min after i sent her back there, she is covered in my pink glittery eyeshadow, so is my night stand and most of the floor. Some days being a mommy is tough, its frusterating and then when I look at the bright pink rings around my daughters eyes it is hard to be mad at her even though it was a 20 dollar eyeshadow. I guess its my fault, I have had no energy lately to keep up with her and play with her, partially because im sick and partially because im almost 9 months pregnant. *sigh* I can't wait til i finally get some free time, time to myself where im not having to worry about my daughter or whether or not everyone is fed.im soo tired... I just want a break. But as of next week it will go back to the schedule where my husband cannot help me out at all and im even more stressed than usual. Loads of fun btw. Well, im out of time, my daughter is now pulling out the entire contents of my purse...

Message in a bottle... do not open..

Waiting for you
Your call, your voice
waking up in the night hearing a noise
and wishing it was you coming home to me
But you cant even write or send a message
to take 5 min instead of updating genie or sending people personality requests to talk to me... your

is it that difficult, or do you dread talking to me?
Do you secretly pine for the days you can relax
the day the intj "boyfriend" can get a break... i saw the forum
I hurt soo much and i know these words
will probably never find their way to you.
Its like a message in a bottle and casting it into the sea
most likely it will never reach the destination you really need for it to go, but thats all because you left it to chance
Maybe i am some horrible person, so far Heidi, Kris, and Kristen have said so... and then theres also you...
I do have low self esteem... ill admit that.
I guess the majority of it would have to do with growing up, and the other part is you.
Before I had Molly and i got fat... you used to tell me how beautiful iwas
not anymore, you say its because for too long i said no im not or disagreed with you which if you really thought it was true should have made you say it more, not less to reassure me that was really how you feel and not more empty words. but you stopped...
I guess something like this shouldn't really sit on your shoulders. I shouldnt leave my happiness in your hands waiting for your words. maybe thats my mistake, im putting too much of the burden on you, but now that i have a job, i will be able to fool myself and others into thinking im happy, because i wil be soo busy ill not have much time to think about all the things that are hurting me, all the words, not just from you, but from others that although I pretend they dont bother me they really do...

Murphy's Law

Well as they say anything that can go wrong will... and thats what happens... I had to junk my car that I paid 4500 for and only got 300 dollars back because there was no way I could JCI it, the car repairs would have out weighed the value of the car... So now we sent my husbands car to a dealership so they can deal with getting the JCI hopefully nothing is wrong with it. I currently am driving a bus until his car is repaired... well its not really a bus, but its the size of a 15 passenger van. I am trying to not drive it so much because its difficult and because the gas prices are already outrageous. And now my husband is deployed and I have to deal with all this on my own.

Finding a Friend/ Friend Ad

Now with Myspace and Facebook its like High School never ended. I have been out of High School for almost 5 years now but I am still emailed by old classmates telling me rumors about someone one we went to school with. "Oh did you know he's Gay now?" "Did you know she is a tramp and sleeps with everyone and has caught almost every std there is?" Seriously when are we all gonna grow up and stop these rumors? I was always told that things change once you get out of HS and yes, I am no longer going to school all day everyday and I have more responsibilities and bills, but the cliques are still there. People are still gossiping and I think it has gotten worse. Now there is no way to see that person when you live on the other side of the world from them so you don't know whats true and what isnt... I have noticed though that the military life is kinda like HS too with the cliques there are some trashy people, some druggies, alcoholics, preps, and several other groups, Although im not sure which group i would be classified in... I guess maybe the misfits? idk. I have dealt with so much drama here, the only thing different is that I can slap someone when I want to, which happens alot. Maybe I have anger issues idk, but when I see someone that isnt taking care of their first kid and is having another one i wanna slap them. And because we are overseas in Japan there is no one that will repremand them on this. There is no CPS although there really should be. The woman of whom I speak has an almost 2 year old whom does not eat real food he has formula still and some cookies or cereal every once in a while. And now she has just had another baby that im afraid will leave the first one in a far more difficult situation since her husband is not the father of the 1st one, and she herself always wanted a girl not a boy, and guess what they had... a Girl.

Im not saying I dont have problems of my own, for instance I gossip, not to a degree that alot of people do, but its still true I find myself spilling my guts like word vomit, telling someone something that I should have never said just because im upset. I find myself recalling that old adage about people with stones and glass houses. I also am sure that my parenting skills are somewhat lacking. I mean how many parents can say hey I raised my child perfectly I never made a mistake? Im pretty sure no one. My two almost 3 year old stays dry all day and most nights, but then there are times when she just doesnt wanna go to bed so she pee's in her bed so that I have to get her up and change her bedding and she can stay up for just a few minutes more.

I am also pretty sure im defective. Lol. I find myself not able to maintain friends here. I am friends with someone for a while then something happens and I dont wanna be screwed over by them watching their 3 kids all day 4 days a week for free and then I lose a friend. But I guess its their loss too. I never know what to say to people that I meet. Maybe I should come up with a friend ad so that people will know what I expect before hand and then we both are less dissappointed by the end result. I guess my ad would read something like this:

I am looking for a relatively sane friend, someone that I will be seeing more than just the times you need someone to babysitt for you. Someone that doesnt ask me for something everytime I see you. I am looking for a person that will be a good enough friend not to hit on my husband. Someone that will leave the screaming at my child to me. Someone that is not overly needy, pushy or manipulative. I am looking for someone that is willing to come over just to talk even though I am running around cleaning and isnt expecting me to entertain you or wait on you hand and foot. I am looking for someone that when you invite me out to dinner that invite doesnt mean that I am invited to be paying for your dinner as well as mine. I am looking for someone that I can count on to understand that sometimes I just have a bad day and get stressed and me not wanting to hang out with you does not mean that I hate you or that I dont like you anymore or that I am mad at you. I am looking for someone that I can joke around with(within reason however people that joke about wouldn't it be funny if my daughter fell down the manhole and died would not be tolerated). I am looking for someone that if I tell you im sick and cannot babysit your kids you dont storm away childishly and delete me from your facebook and myspace only to come back when everyone else has abandoned you. I am a fun, well tempered, mostly sane person and im sure that if you fit these qualifications we will get along just fine!

I Guess its Just Life

Well, I dont know if the title quite fits, but I guess we will see as time progresses. I am currently in Okinawa, Japan in a small 2 bedroom government housing unit on base. I live in a Quadroplex with 3 other families. The Martin's, The Mata's and The Javier's. I don't really have much to say about the Mata's they pretty much stay to themselves. I don't hear a lot from them, she is currently pregnant and expecting her first child, and the rest of us in this building already have one child. I have one daughter named Molly and a Husband Named Alan, and My name is Amee. I am hoping to vent a little bit of my chaotic life on this. That way I can relieve some of the stress that comes with being a Military Spouse, a Mommy, and the Housekeeper, Cook and Maid and soon to be full time Employee of Chili's yup thats right we have one here on base.

Yesterday I spent the entire day trying to JCI my car. Which is just another way that the japanese extort money out of us while we are here on their island, I paid 450 dollars to get this done, and then found out due to a brake fluid leak it cannot be done so that 4500 dollars that I paid for the car, plus the 450 to get the inspection, and the 85 for the road tax so i can drive on their roads and the 82 dollars x4 to get new tires is going to be thrown away. And what will I get to compensate me for this, probably anywhere from 200 to 500 dollars for junking it. My husbands car is currently needing a JCI as well so we cannot drive it because we didnt have the money to pay for the temporary plates... but I guess thus is life...

On a good note however I did recieve a call offering me a job and a chance at sanity so that I can get away from my very active 32 month old daughter, and help relieve some of the financial stress that comes when you have to pay $5.00 for a half gallon of milk. I got a job offer paying 14 dollars an hour to watch kids or 9.50 an hour to wait tables plus tips... im thinking im taking the 2nd one... I do after all need some adult time.